In the name of Allah, the Lord and Giver of Mercy.
First and foremost, I pray that this article reaches you in the best state of affairs, ameen! To begin, a reminder that life is temporary — and the best reminder to that fact is death. When all is said and done, your worldly possessions won’t accompany you in your graves, neither will the friends and followers on your social media pages; the only thing that will accompany you is your deeds, and if you’re a wise believer you will also have a righteous legacy that’s profit will continue to provide you with ease even when you’ve departed. So how are we living our lives? The best of us are those who think and prepare for death. The best of us are those who pray salah like it may be our last time praying. The best of us are those who remind one another of these matters with genuine concern for our communities. May Allah (SWT) guide us to that one and only straight path of guidance, ameen.
I would like to mention two key sayings of our beloved Prophet (ﷺ) that set the scene on the rest of the article.
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk (perfume) seller and the blacksmith’s bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof.” (Sahih Bukhari, Narrated by Abu Musa [R])
I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, “Man follows his friend’s religion, you should be careful who you take for friends”.
(At-Tirmidhi & Abu Dawud, Narrated by Abu Hurairah [R])
There’s not a lot of things that are better than a good friend. Over the years, by definition of a “good friend” has become very simple — a good friend is an individual that accompanies you and looks for your best interest at all times. Good friends are gems in social circles. But to break it down further for Muslim youth, a good friend is someone who keeps you in the remembrance of Allah (SWT) at all times. Even when you are doing something entertaining such as sports, video games, or shopping — they even make those activities beneficial. They’re not necessarily randomly lecturing you about Islam, but they’re just enlightened young individuals that make shukr (gratitude for Allah) contagious, ma shaa Allah. That is what Rasulullah (ﷺ) was talking about, when introducing the concept of the perfume seller. That special brother or sister in your friend circle that brings the conversation back to the remembrance of Allah (SWT) without being all “self-righteous” about it.
Growing up at the masjid, I spent my time with fellow young brothers that remind one another about Allah (SWT) and the important things in life. And honestly, that’s really a true gift from Allah (SWT). When fellow colleagues see eye to eye with us on religious matters, and as a group, we both desire solely what’s best for one another — that’s brotherhood. On the other side of things, we also have brothers and sisters in our communities acting recklessly, and we fall into a common yet incorrect mentality of looking down upon them. Can I be real with you all? There was most definitely a time where most of us started out as good kids doing positive things — it is the environment and society that we live in that nurtures us but inherently — we are moral beings alhamdulilah! Anyways, we look down upon these young brothers and sisters, with no sense of empathy. We don’t know what made them the way they are, nor do we know the good that they do in private. Therefore, rather than focusing on their current *apparent* situation — if you think you have what it takes, try and help them be better! Maybe they’re with the wrong crowd, and need to be around people that remind them of Allah (SWT) — be that reminding friend!
Believe it or not, something I am beginning to notice is, a lot of us are not inclusive. When we see young brothers and sisters that annoy us, we instantly alienate them in unison. Just imagine that for a second, one individual annoys you and all of a sudden your whole group of like 8 friends push away the individual — imagine that impact. As Muslims we need to think comprehensively — rather than avoid people who act in manners we do not appreciate, we should think about working on one another and transforming them into better individuals. People make mistakes, and the good friend doesn’t exclude these people but rather allow them to walk out of a conversation with them with a beneficial lesson to reflect on. My dear Imam always tells me, “I love it when I see you make mistakes, because I can discipline you then and there.” Another teacher of mine refers to mistakes as “learning experiences”, he reminds me all the time that a mistake is an unsuccessful experience you didn’t learn from. So, if you see someone who’s walking towards a trivial path — take that step and do something about it — with ikhlas (sincerity) and empathy!
I don’t know if this is a phenomena in every Muslim community in America but, where I am from — the young Muslim brothers are basketball fanatics ma shaa Allah. Literally, all we do here is play basketball, even during Ramadan. Alhamdulilah, playing sports with the right intentions can become a form of worship! If you play basketball, to stay in shape because Allah (SWT) provided us all with a trust which is our bodies — that’s a form of worship, Allahu Akbar. But on the other hand, if we’re playing basketball but missing Isha and Taraweeh and Salaatul Witr — maybe there needs to be a moment of re-evaluation. Our masajid, our Muslim institutions provide us with these facilities to accommodate young Muslims to enjoy themselves while being accompanied by the blessing of the masjid. The masjid is not simply a place of worship, but a place of community. Let us not abuse our community’s generosity by neglecting our prayers for basketball! Anyways, these youth that play basketball but neglect their prayers tend to be the target of judging by other youth who think they’re more righteous than them. What we don’t realize is, when ridiculing people who are struggling with their worship and faith — we are not helping the situation. On the contrary, we are pushing them away from the masajid, and causing them to develop resentment for those who practice. These are the matters we need to reflect on and work towards rectifying!
I would like to wrap things up by quoting Allah the Most High in Surah Al-Hashr when He says,
“There is no comparison between the inhabitants of the Fire and the inhabitants of Paradise— and the inhabitants of Paradise are the successful ones (59:20).”
I would like us to really reflect on this verse of the Qur’an. Allah (SWT) is reminding us all that there is a profound and distinct difference between those who go to Hell versus those who go to Paradise — they are not equals, at all. Most definitely their ways of living are not the same. Sure, the inhabitants of Paradise sinned, they may have erred but you know what makes them different from those who are the ultimate failures? They repented from their ways, they humbled themselves and relied solely upon God.
This Ramadan, change yourself — and once you change yourself, naturally you will cause positive change in others. Stay in constant remembrance in God this Ramadan!
“Whoever is not grateful to the people, he is not grateful to Allah.” (At-Tirmidhi, Narrated by Abu Hurairah [R])
Celebrate that good companion(s) in your friend circle! Here are the steps:
- Follow (@YourMuslimBro) via Instagram / Like (Your Muslim Bro) on Facebook!
- Make a status; post a picture with a caption; or make a video shouting out that great friend in your life.
- Make sure to make it public (so we can share the good ones on our page), provided with the hashtag #ThePerfumeSeller! Don’t forget to tag Your Muslim Bro on Instagram or Facebook!
DISCLAIMER: Please, celebrate your friends in real life, show them your appreciation in person! The purpose of #ThePerfumeSeller is to take some time and show people the exemplary individuals in our lives. Humankind learns best by example ma shaa Allah! Nevertheless, be someone that appreciates people without a keyboard as well — we need to be better with that!